2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
