I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize
