I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Blood and glitter go together right?
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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