I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
