I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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