Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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