arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Welp...herpes.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
