Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
