Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
as a side note pls kill me
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
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