Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
