she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Randomize
