Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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