I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
