Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Randomize
