I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I want to walk on stilts...naked
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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