When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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