No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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