Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
