I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
