There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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