Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Randomize
