Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
