Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Randomize