after a month anything with tits is on the radar
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
