Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Can vaginas get frostbite?
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
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