I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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