if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
