Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
i barfeds in our rink
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
