Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
