ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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