its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Randomize
