Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Congratulations! We have a period
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
