My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
