so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
