question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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