Me too!
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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