Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
In other news, I just burned my penis
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize