have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Randomize
