OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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