Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
