So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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