I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Randomize
