She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
he thought i was a dude.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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