I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I could fuck to npr.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
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