I'm lost and stupid without you.
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
