Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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