wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
