No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
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