You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
