hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize