i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
