you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
What happened to fro yo and sex?
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
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