She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize
