I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
