I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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