Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Just high enough for therapy.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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