i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
