her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize