If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
