dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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