i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
